Why Porn Is The Real Enemy

 

This post will most likely anger a lot of people in the rebooting community. However, it’s about something that I see as a widely spread problem. It’s even putting people off from hearing our message or taking it seriously.

Worse than that what, it goes against all the science behind porn addiction. Many rebooters are going at this all wrong, and their recovery is suffering for it.

The no-masturbation movement has taken much more traction that the no-porn movement. At the time of this writing, the Nofap subreddit has 220 000 subscribers and the Pornfree subredddit has 28 000.

While the reason for this is clear (it helps to forgo masturbation during the recovery process), I believe some rebooters have lost perspective in the process.

What’s the real issue?

Riddle me this: What’s the real major cause for the problems rebooters face?

If you answered porn, you are correct.

Brain fog is caused by porn. Much of erectile dysfunction is caused by porn along with many more uncomfortable negative effects.

The most important thing in your recovery is to not watch any pornographic or arousing material.

In fact that might be the only important thing.

For most, quitting masturbation is more of a means to an end to help remove porn from your life.

 

If you are still watching porn, looking at other arousing material like bikini pictures or even reading erotic stories, you are either kidding yourself about your reboot or shooting yourself in the foot.

At best you are hindering your recovery process.

At worst you are completely sabotaging it by causing even further damage.

Backed up by Science

Arousing material creates a dopamine rush in your brain. So does masturbation, but after orgasm prolactin levels rise. This increase in prolactin returns dopamine to normal levels and inhibits further release.

Edging and consuming anything arousing without the stopper of orgasm

I’m not talking out of my ass here, the science is there to back this up!

causes an unending flood of dopamine. This creates all craving without any satisfaction. Your brain will react by further desensitizing the dopamine receptors.

The same goes for fantasizing as well. Your fantasies activate the same addiction pathways that porn does. This keeps them in good condition, and those are the pathways we want to erode.

Then what’s the deal with masturbation?

As I previously said, quitting masturbation might be vital for the success of your reboot. Many experience it to be a slippery slope to relapsing to porn. It’s easier to deny yourself fully through Hard-mode than keep balancing it out on Easy-mode.

Furthermore if you have PIED or other erectile dysfunction issues, rebooting without any PMO might be helpful to your recovery.

But other than that, I would recommend to not overly demonize or focus on it. If you decide not to masturbate at all, consider it another tool in the toolbox.

Is masturbation without porn or fantasy a relapse?

This is a tricky idea, because I don’t want to give people an excuse to go burp the worm. No matter your approach thus far in terms of MO, do not change it because of this article. At least for now. Mull it over and make a collected decision later.

What I would advise is to not take relapses without porn or fantasy that hard.

The worst thing that you can do is to beat yourself up for it.

You’ll feel bad and together with the “fuck it” effect, you will go drown those sorrows in a binge. And that’s where real damage is made.

Don’t get me wrong, if you are in Hard-mode, masturbating is a bad idea. It might act as a slippery slope toward a harder relapse. But if you face a lapse in judgement, consider it as more of a speed bump than a fiery car crash.

This approach to it does not give you the excuse to relapse, but does help with having a more positive attitude post-MO.

What about sex then?

For most sex is completely fine, even recommended!

Sex during a reboot is fine as long as you take all the precautions!

Being intimate with a partner rewires your brain away from the impersonality of pornography and toward the intimacy and connection that makes sex so fulfilling.

The only two caveats are the chaser effect and those with ED problems.

If you are going to be intimate with a partner, beware the chaser effect. Those urges will be stronger in the coming few days, so prepare accordingly and trust your willpower even less than usual.

And if you are experiencing erectile problems or are rebooting due to PIED, consider waiting on sex. While having real sex can help rewire your brain to the real experience instead of a screen, orgasming too soon may also hurt your progress.

Furthermore, while having ED ruin the heat of the moment can work as a fiery motivation, it might be best not to go looking for that emotional trauma.

Do not relapse

This isn’t to say that if you have edged thus far you should just “get it over with” so that you can start over.

Absolutely not.

Stop! No relapsing allowed!

Instead, consider your actions thus far as a half-step toward recovery. It hasn’t gone to waste! The only thing that remains is slightly tweaking your approach for better results.

You do not have permission to use this as an excuse to relapse!

Conclusion

The two main points that I have within this topic are these:

  • Overly focusing on the evils of masturbation makes us lose focus on the fact that pornography is the main culprit to our problems
  • The anti-masturbation focus and vibe turns people off to our message

I’m not saying that excessive masturbation isn’t a problem for some rebooters. I’m not belittling that as a problem. If that’s your issue, of course you need to be going Hard-mode to recover from that.

But the excessive focus on not masturbation really drives people away.

They might be open to hearing about the scientifically sound reasons as to why long-term use of pornography can be harmful.

But after a first impression that we are banning masturbation, they immediately lock down.

I just feel like we’re missing most of the point when we focus on masturbation.

Which do you consider more of a problem for you, masturbation or porn? And are you able to reboot in Easy-mode?

Let me know in the comment section! This are just my thoughts on this, I would love to get some discussion on this topic going!

Actions
  1. Self-reflect on whether you still use arousing material without MO
  2. Identify those that you do and eliminate them from your life to successfully reboot
  3. Let me know you thoughts on this topic in the comment section

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